You know that saying, “the truth will set you free”. What if someone is not interested in the truth? That, folks, is a the situation humanity now finds itself in. We live in a post-truth era, but the truth is the truth, is the truth, is the truth.

Here is an uncontroversial statement that I know to be true: anger and resentment never lead anywhere good. But that is the path most poeple, in this country that is now called Canada, were about to take. And then they recieved a gift, in the form of a fascist, racist, orange man, south of the border. A man even more angry and resentful. This how I see what just happened in this country, as an outsider, of course.

On November 5, 2024, this man, a convicted felon who has openly bragged about “grabbing women by the pussy”, was elected, for the second time, as president of the only country that shares a land border with Maple Country. This clown of a man has an entire legion of often racist goons called MAGA. The thing to know about his country is that a significant number of its populace cannot locate their own country on a world map.

Meanwhile in Maple Country, some tough-talking, name-calling, weirdly aggressive dude has been running an entirely negative, grievance politics based campaign for over two years. He also has this super weird take on things. For instance, he thinks that Nazis were socialists. His whole schtick is few slogans that act as magnates for simple, distracted minds. Works every time. And he is mimicking (or at least trying to) the Orange man and his MAGA rhetoric. Some have called him the “Timbit Trump”.

Timbit Trump has rallied almost half the country behind his negative campaign, and up until the end of January, “46% of committed voters” are ready to cast a ballot for his party and, he is poised to become the next prime minister of Maple Country. Being the huge MAGA fanboy that he is, he maintains a brash, aggressive posture, rudely dishing out personal attacks to his political opponents (who, to be sure were doing such a terrible job running the country), and denouncing so-called “woke ideology” at every turn. Bear in mind that even though he never clearly outlines any concrete policy solutions, Timbit Trump keeps gaining more popularity, even among Gen Z. His party finally released their “platform” on 22nd April 2025, less than a week before the Election Day, but, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

The leader (prime minister) of Maple Country is a dude whose father was also the prime minister of the same country. He was left with a $1.2M inheritance. Let’s call him the Trust Fund dude. Timbit Trump constantly attacks him for messing up the country, the carbon tax, and allowing in floods of immigrants. Some of this is partly true, although not that simplistic.

For a moment, Timbit Trump managed to trick nearly half of Maple Country’s citizens to align with MAGA-like politics, until the real MAGA threatened their sovereignty. Gullible people.

On 6 January, 2025 the Trust Fund dude resigns and prorogues Parliament until March 24. He probably booked himself a vacation somewhere warm on a beautiful beach and peaced out (pretty Boss FU move, I think).

On March 14, 2025, five days after winning his party’s leadership election, another dude who was the central bank Governor of both Maple Country, and England gets sworn in as the 24th prime minister of Maple Country.

And then, sometime in February, 2025, the Orange man decides that he wants to live out his colonial fantasies to recolonize, and conquer Maple Country. He also imposes nonsensical tariffs on the country, dismantling years of friendly relationships with the Maple people.

If you ignore everything I’ve written here, I want you remember this one thing: the citizens of Maple Country, the majority of whom are Colonialism apologists, get super FREAKED OUT when faced with the prospect of having “their country” recolonized. They (many of them recent immigrants like me) live in a state of wilful ignorance (or outright denial) about the enduring intergenerational trauma of colonialism on indigenous people, and the ongoing violence that their state has visited on the indigenous peoples of that country.

Maple Country has a parliamentary system, so they have a peculiar thing where elections can be “called” earlier than had been scheduled. They call them snap elections. On March 24th, the central bank Governor dude calls a snap election. Excellent.

Now, Timbit Trump is up against a Harvard-educated, Oxford Econ PhD wielding, soft-spoken, giving off everything-is-under-control vibes, central bank Governor finance dude, at the time when the MAGA Orange dude who he mimics is threatening to recolonize Maple Country. Also, some woman blurts out, “lead us, Big Daddy” at one of the Governor dude’s rallies. Bloodbath.

Okay, here is the thing: if you are going against a dude who was a Governor of the central banks of the biggest, baddest colonial empire in the history of mankind, and another contemporary settler colony, which is also his “country”, during a time when your role model has launched a full on trade war on that colony, and is threatening to re-colonize it, you should just give up, go back to Cowtown where you came from, maybe raise a few cows (I love cows, BTW), smoke some weed, and chill.

But no, Timbit Trump is a real tough, macho guy – he doesn’t change his strategy, and he keeps talking about the Trust Fund dude, who already resigned. There was only one way this was going to end: with Timbit Trump getting cooked. He got so cooked he even got voted out of his own constituency, a seat he had held for over 20 years. And…here we are.